Christmas Quotations Funny

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Funny birthday quotes aren’t hard to find these days, because when it comes to getting older, there’s always something to joke about. Having a sense of humor about your age can help to make birthdays a little easier to stomach. For example, here are some funny birthday quotes spoken by well-known comedians and celebrities:

“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”

- John Glenn

“Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the heck happened.”

- Cora Harvey Armstrong

“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.”

- Sam Ewing

“Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.”

- Anonymous

“Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.”

- Anthony Powell

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”

- Robert Frost

“When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.”

- Anonymous

“Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.”

- Stephen Wright

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.”

- Mark Twain

“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”

- Phyllis Diller

“In dog years, I’m dead.”

- Anonymous

“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”

- Harry Hershfield

“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ”At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”

- Claude D. Pepper

Of course, not everyone dreads getting older. Many people choose to put a positive spin on the inevitable passing of time. Check out these inspirational funny birthday quotes:

“It is not how old you are, but how you are old.”

- Marie Dressler

“Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.”

- Martin Buxbaum

“Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.”

- Dave Barry

“Youth is a disease from which we all recover.”

- Dorothy Fulheim

“You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience.”

- Anonymous

“To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.”

- Bernard Baruch

No matter how you choose to see it, birthdays are a great opportunity to have a few laughs and make peace with getting older. And funny birthday quotes sure make that easier to do!

For more information on funny pranks, jokes, and cartoons, check out Family Fun Cartoons today!

Another great place to shop for Christmas Quotations Funny products is Amazon. They have more than just books!

Damn You, Autocorrect!: Awesomely Embarrassing Text Messages You Didn’t Mean to Send $5.96 If you own an iPhone, BlackBerry, Droid, or any smartphone, there’s a good chance you’ve screamed that phrase out at least once. In Damn You, Autocorrect! Pop-culture blogger Jillian Madison shows you are not alone. Filled with submissions from readers of her popular website, this laugh-out-loud funny book features cringe-worthy exchanges with parents, friends, significant others, and co-workers t…

Kids Say the Darndest Things! $8.21 Almost 50 years since its first printing, this famous collection of children’s wisdom and witticisms is now back in print in a facsimile edition to entertain a whole new generation. KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS! includes the best of the unconsciously funny, everyday thoughts and reactions kids shared with kid-at-heart Art Linkletter on his long-running radio and television series House Party .Gems…

Pet Poems $7.93 Home renovations lead to the discovery of a cache of poems, and in deciphering the scratchings, a fierce but often sublime animal world is revealed….