Christmas Odes
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Who wants to hear a Christmas ode to Tiger?
Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin’ them texts.
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin’ and pleadin’,
Tiger’s wife went investing — a new home in Sweden .
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
“If you’re gettin’ laid then I’m gettin’ paid.”
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.
.
True Golfers will stick by him.
Another great place to shop for Christmas Odes products is Amazon. They have more than just books!
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Kathleen Battle · Wynton Marsalis ~ Baroque Duet / Anthony Newman · Orch St. Luke’s · Nelson $5.98 …. |
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Oh For Joy $3.83 This October, David Crowder*Band delivers their first Christmas record Oh For Joy. Featuring the Christmas favorites “Joy To the World,” “The First Noel,” “Oh Holy Night,” “Silent Night” and more, the album features classic Christmas songs interpreted as only the David Crowder*Band can. Highlighting the band’s unmistakable creativity and originality, Oh For Joy finds the band re-inventing familiar… |
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What The Hell Happened To Me! $8.86 All products are BRAND NEW and factory sealed. Fast shipping and 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed…. |
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Andre Rieu: The Homecoming! Songs From My Heart (Exclusive PBS Premium Edition) [VHS] $24.93 Part One: 1. Carmen Overture 2. Aviator’s March 3. You’re Worth Your Weight in Gold 4. Song of Vilja 5. Heut ist der schönste Tag 6. Ach ich hab’ in meinem Herzen 7. Concierto d’Aranjuez 8. Swinging Bells of Limburg 9. Funiculi Funicula 10. The White Horse Inn 11. Second Waltz 12. Chianti Song 13. Maastricht Anthem Part Two: 14. Radetzky March 15. Ob blond, ob braun 16. I Could Have Danced All Ni… |
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Ode to a Snowman Card 5 x 7 inch premium quality folded paper greeting card. Christmas greeting cards & photo cards are available at Greeting Card Universe. We have everything from custom cards to professionally designed cards. Look no further than Greeting Card Universe for your Christmas card needs. This paper card includes the following themes: christmas, holiday, and retro. Set your paper cards apart this year with… |
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Care Bears: The Nutcracker $2.29 Get ready to enjoy your favorite holiday treat, only sweeter. Join the Care Bears as they bring to life the classic tale of the nutcracker, as only these bears can. You’ll make friends with Anna, her brother Peter, and even the Nutcracker himself. But when the Evil Vizier threatens, you and your new sugar plum friends must band together to save Toyland. Don’t miss this heartwarming confectionthe w… |
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Ode to Freedom- Beethoven: Symphony No. 9 $24.99 Leonard Bernstein’s historical concert in celebration of the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 has long become almost as legendary as the revolutionary moment that it celebrated. Recorded at the beautiful Schauspielhaus right on Gendarmenmarkt in the centre of Berlin on Christmas 1989, it has now become available on DVD, along with a short documentary film as bonus. The fall of the Berlin Wall on No… |
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Odes & Rhymes of Life & Times $2.50 This is a book of modern poetry that I promise will not bore you. It is taken from life’s observations, sometimes twisted but always interestingly written. Words can be powerful, funny, sad, enlightening, scary, influential, happy and eye-opening. If one person opens this book once and learns something from one of these poems, then I have achieved what I set out to do. If one person laughs out lou… |
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Piano Adventures: Lesson Book Primer Level (Piano Adventures Library) $5.00 The Primer Level introduces the keyboard, note values, and the grand staff. Students play in middle C position and C position through recognition of steps and skips, and learn letter names independent of finger number. Musicianship is built through the use of dynamics and coloristic experimentation with the pedal. The material in the Lesson Book is organized into units, which represent the major c… |
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The Norton Anthology of Modern Poetry $62.50 … |
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